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What makes a single woman a swinger, and not merely a person who has sex with other people, still eludes me. I started by reaching out to the city's swingers clubs.
It quickly became apparent that nobody partaking in the local lifestyle wanted to talk to me by email or phone. So much for an interview with a real, live swinger, I thought.
The only bar owner who would speak to me turned out to be one who didn't know anything about swinging. Her establishment had been falsely labeled as a swingers club on Yelp, forcing her to field several calls a day from men looking to score.
I explained to her that her business was labeled as such online. I was about to give up when I finally caught a break. After a few more phone calls a bar owner passed me a name and number.
It took a few tries, but eventually the man picked up the phone. He had a heavy accent, the origins of which I couldn't decipher, sprinkled with unnatural-sounding American slang from the mids.
He sounded as though he'd just been roused from a deep sleep, even though it was 4 p. After some delicate prodding, he invited me to meet him at his club the next day.
I eagerly accepted his invitation and pondered what kind of shoes I should wear. On their websites, swingers often display erotic attire revealing their bodies to be waxed and reddish-colored.
The men look bulky, thoroughly gelled and appear oddly comfortable in poorly tailored suits that reminded me of decade-old looks you see at budget hair salons.
Their shoes, however, remain a mystery. I decided upon something casually professional - like Hush Puppies.
I wore jeans and a T-shirt. The club sat at the far end of a mostly vacant strip mall near Hobby Airport. The parking lot was empty except for about five middle-aged men idling in their vehicles, looking nervous.
The club's windows were taped over with black paper and the glass on the front door had been designed to obscure the inside. I spent the next 40 minutes periodically knocking on the front door and then looking over my shoulder, but nobody answered.
The occasional passerby, always hurried, scurried across the parking lot past the men in their cars. At one point a grizzled street cat missing clumps of hair on its spine began lazily circling my car and looking at me, which I took to be a bad omen.
Unlike other swingers sites, Crawford says, LoveVoodoo reaches out to mainstream press and tries to pique the interest of the "new-school people in the lifestyle.
So does Crawford have any advice for those interested in the lifestyle, but not sure if it's for them? Engaging with our readers is essential to the mission of the Houston Press.
The key, he says, is "being open and honest with your partner and telling them what your wants and desires are. The lifestyle can be a great way to spice up a relationship, but it's not a magic solution for a troubled marriage -- in fact, it would probably just hasten a divorce, he says.
It's also obviously not for the jealous types. If you have even the slightest interest in that sorta thing, we suggest you check it out.
Based on our quick perusal, some of the people are actually attractive. And hey, who can't use another bowling buddy?
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